TFN#55: 🪜Ask for a written word, I mean save yourself from headache and heartache

So, I was scrolling through social media and this comic from Marketoonist cracked me a few weeks back.

🤣 It is soo true.

If you think about it, most of the work that we get, the amount of clarity varies. Sometimes we get complete clarity about what is expected, but most of the times, it is pure guesswork. Guesswork based on our past experiences with them.

So much so, that in most organizations, there is at least one fellow who knows what the boss wants. Not because he knows the details, but because he has been there long enough.

Now, who wants to depend on the guesswork? Or someone else’s guesswork?
It’s neither professional nor scalable.

I met with similar hurdles at the beginning of my career—and soon, I figured out how to save myself from recurring headaches and heartaches at work.

Headache & heartache

When we have no clarity of what is expected of us, we lose our mind first. Leading to headaches.
But then, with the help of the “knows-the-boss-well” fellow, we may deliver some work.
When the work reaches the boss’s desk, soon we get hit with heartache. Because our sincere efforts to read between the lines and figure out the work do not result in what is expected. And we have to do everything over.
So sad.
It discourages so many people from hitting the world of work. And they end up building a negative worldview about what an exciting place the world of work can be.

That’s why, this is how I avoid this pain:

I ask for a written word

Don’t get me wrong.
I don’t directly ask the client, boss, or colleague to type out what they want and hand it to me. That’s not how things work.
So, I will tell you what I do instead.
But first, why a written word? Why not a spoken word?
Because writing is thinking.
When we put our thoughts on paper, we realize what is important and what is not so important. It brings about clarity.
Another reason behind asking for a written word is, to get their investment and commitment. I have mentioned this practice in my Data System Design handbook too.
​

Excerpt from Data System Design

​
You see, if you don’t get a simple investment such as their effort to put things on paper, we have to doubt about their commitment. Mostly, a lack of written word = lack of commitment.

Now let’s talk about the way to get the written word

We can’t get a written word by asking “Can you put it on a paper/email?” Because if you’re anything like me, you’re not working in a transactional relationship. And I don’t prefer working in such a relationship either. If I did, I wouldn’t be able to write any of these things:
​Being part of the wave, not the wave itself​
​How does it sound​
​Not just another conversation​
​The case of hit and run stars​
​The doer in the arena​
​The fastest way to lose at a pitch, work and relationships​

Instead, we should follow just one rule. To be the first one to put in the effort. Write first. And pass it for review.

And it works.

Why?

Because people like judging other people’s work

When you share your written word first, the other person’s natural inclination is to judge. To make remarks. To redo a few parts. And that’s their written word.

The written word could be in the form of:

• A response to your email
• Clarification on the minutes of the meeting
• A remark/comment on your shared documents
• Sharing of additional files for context
• Looping in someone else to review
• Referring you to someone else for a detailed discussion
• A follow-up meeting

It can be virtually anything, but the end product will always be something tangible. Something beyond meetings and spoken words.

A dangerous trap

There is one main danger to this approach though.
You will come across a few people whose written word would be something on these lines:

This is a huuuge, burning red sign, screaming “DANGER!!!”.
It is called the “passing the parcel” approach. Our intention behind asking for the written word is to gain clarity and investment. But these types of written words neither provide clarity nor signal investment.
And if you take these words seriously, you will directly feel a heartache in the end.

Of course, this is not a foolproof approach, but it mostly works. So, I hope you try to tinker with this approach in your work.

Post-newsletter CTA

So, whether it is at the beginning of a project, asking a raise or getting a clarity on roles and responsibilities, asking for a written word helps a lot.
Have you faced issues gaining clarity from other people at work? How do you navigate through it?

Hit Reply and tell me.

Reads of the week:

How our work shapes our lives. I relished this article.

I had never thought about this. But if you’re in a certain type of work, your patience will increase, while for other types, your patience will decrease.